Goal of
sex therapy
The goal of therapy is primarily defined by you and what you want out of the process. So before making an appointment, have a think about what your ideal outcome might be.
approach
My goal in therapy is to meet my clients where they’re at with warmth, curiosity and positive regard.
By witnessing their experiences, I help them understand what is causing them distress in their sex lives, what might be feeding into their issues and to then go on a journey with them towards healing and wellness.
This process often involves nurturing six growth areas:
1. Fostering healthy self esteem
2. Forming effective boundaries
3. Exploring identity and what it means to be human through the lens of compassion
4. Understanding needs and wants
5. Accessing play and pleasure
6. Working on what it means to be a healthy relational adult.
what to expect
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This may involve:
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Delving into some basic sex education that very few people received
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Somatic based activities that bring you into relationship with your body
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Learning from the past (looking at attachment and unhelpful modes and schemas that perpetuate patterns) and reparenting those parts that require it
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Being more present in the moment (using somatic skills and mindfulness) to be able to catch unhelpful patterns and react differently.
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Understanding how neurobiology and early attachment patterns guide behaviour and influence relational dynamics so as to upskill and relearn approaches for a better future.
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Being able to safely communicate these challenges and patterns to a partner in a way that is relational and elicits positive change in the dyadic system.
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For religious clients – discovering how they connect to a higher power or purpose is also an important aspect in this work.
values
I honour diversity in my practice and aim to respect and meet my clients wherever they are at in terms of their sex education, ability, beliefs, culture, life philosophies/religion, personal boundaries, values and ethics. I also acknowledge and celebrate the fact that there are many varieties of sexuality, erotic preferences and lifestyles.
I endeavour to partner with my clients to go on a journey with them, exploring their presenting issue and applying evidence-based research to identify whether any aspect (psychological, biological or sociocultural) may be getting in the way of them enjoying sexual wellness.
I aim to provide a safe space, non-judgmental positive regard and education for my clients along the way so they can safely process through their issues - I may also gently challenge, extend or clarify with an attitude of curiosity to facilitate this process.
My hope is that clients walk away with a renewed and 'reconceived' vision of the way they understand sex - one that empowers them to make informed choices and develop healthy sexual expression.
I believe in the inherent worth of every human being, the mutuality of sexual pleasure, the importance of consent and working within the bounds of both the law and a client’s relational contract (official or unofficial). While many of my clients will access pornographic materials, I will not specifically recommend it as a means of education or as a shortcut to arousal – this is based on both scientific evidence as well as a personal conviction that it does not help clients in the long run.
I take confidentiality seriously but also personal transparency/authenticity within the session sharing conceptualisations, being open about personal values and limitations and inviting the client to share theirs.